Friday was a bit intense for me. Tension was running high and my mom even felt it. She convinced me NOT to continue to talk with my subordinates regarding their unsatisfactory work because of the tension she felt. She thought that it'd be better to have a third ear when I sit with my subordinates - just to be safer. I managed to ignore and not look at the people who gave me the reason to rant out the other night. Until we had our weekly meeting.
Si taba ang presider. Ako ang minute taker. Minadali nyang pag usapan ang mga agenda na inihanda nya. I commented on one of her plans and pointing out the downside of her plan. My idea won over hers - even she saw her fault - and when asked, she couldn't think of any way to solve it - until I suggested something. After that - awkward silence. I had to move on with my AOB. I managed not to look at them still - until taba yawned quite loudly, I looked at her and waited for her to close her mouth. She wasnt even looking at me. I went on to read something on my paper and just when I was about to raise my head up again, I saw the friend signing something and finished it quickly before I turned my eyes back on the meeting.
I told my mom about it, and she said, what taba did was rude, but MAYBE, the friend's signing was telling taba off with what she did earlier. Better think of it that way rather than thinking bad about the whole thing. Isip ko na lang, ang karma, express na, hindi na yan snail mail delivery...magulat ka na lang, anjan na sya.
kanina, natuloy ang training session ko. okay naman. i prepared myself for everything that may happen para at least hindi ako mairita. I motivated myself not to get annoyed when :
1.people text/receive a call (even when I repeatedly asked them to switch their handphones on silent - no vibrate)
2. they yawn, and eventually close their eyes till their head falls off.
3. information wont get into their brain
4. they won't co-operate
5. people will come an hour or more late.
Luckily, only #1 & 5 happened. I couldn't care less. I did my part, to the best of my ability, and the rest are just things I don't have any control of.
Yung sinabihan ni taba na mag ingat ngayon, well, okay lang sya. Okay naman talaga sya to start with. I don't have anything against her. Hindi ako nagagalit sa mga taong pilit iniimpluwensyahan. Ang paniniwala ko naman kasi, ang mga taong nagpapaimpluwensya ay walang sariling utak. Clearly, hindi ganun yung taong ito.
Nung nagba-browse ako sa fb kanina, di ko alam kung dumating na ang karma o ang current state lang nila (taba and friend) ang nagtutulak sa kanila to hate happy people. The status said:
...im so tired but i cant sleep...standing on the edge of something much too deep...its funny how we feel so much but we can not say a word..though we are screaming inside...we can't be heard...
Oh do I pity them..... naaaahhhh
Minsan talaga, kailangan i-entertain kahit saglit ang inner emotions no matter how sad you may feel. Recognise the feeling but never dwell on it. Mahirap kasi if you keep on covering up and pretending to be happy and on top of things when obviously you can't even get your head on top of yourself where it's supposed to be. Yan ang root ng kung anu anong bad thoughts. They probably hate my happy disposition. How I am so fine even if my family and my significant other is so far away. True, im lucky to have my mom working with me, but hey, I didn't intend her to be here. It's just that we happen to be in the field, in the same company, which provides the same house for us. Di namin kasalanan yun.
I also stumbled upon pictures of get togethers in one house. They cook together, eat together, enjoy each other's company and sometimes sleep under the same roof. Di ba masaya yun?
Eh bakit ang stat nung isa eh ganun pa rin?!?!?
mahirap magkunwari. mahirap makisunod na lang. mahirap lokohin ang sarili.
But hey, what do I care? Napansin ko lang naman. I don't really care.
I don't want to care.
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